The problem with asking "what are you going to do with your life?"

What am I giving my life to?

A question every person should ask. It’s a question that is often overshadowed by things like “what am I going to do with my life”. The truth is, if you aren’t giving your life to the right thing, what you do with it won’t really matter. The months of May and June are filled with graduations and people completing seasons of their lives. Doubtless these people are being asked the question “what’s next”. For many, they probably have no idea how to answer that question. So I would like to pose another question to ask our high school and college graduates. What are you giving your life to? You’ve gotten your degree or diploma, what are you going to use it for? Is it going to be used for your own personal happiness, for living the American dream? Or perhaps you are going to make it about helping others, curing cancer, stopping aids, bringing justice to victims of human trafficking; all amazing causes. The problem is that often times even if we give ourselves to big, beautiful causes, we burn ourselves out. Because the source of what we are giving our lives to drains us. Don’t get me wrong, I wish more of my generation were doing things that actually matter instead of just trying to do the American dream. It drives me nuts how angry and upset I see people over sports games and yet bring up a topic like abortion, trafficking, or aids and these same people will quickly change the subject.

Because ultimately the majority of people are giving their lives to being happy.

They are giving their lives to the idea that happiness is the goal. The simple truth is, happiness doesn’t satisfy. It’s an emotion; a passing state of being. The truth is we shouldn’t always be happy. We shouldn’t be happy when we hear of Indian children working in quarries, of people in African dying from starvation and aids, of American girls trapped in human trafficking. Happiness is a poor excuse for a goal in life. If we pursue it we shut doors on helping others, because helping others won’t always make us happy. Sometimes it will break our hearts. Sometimes it will require us getting into the muck of the world in order to pull others out.

My challenge is not just to the class of 2014, but to all, what are you giving your life to? Are you giving it to the only one who is worthy to receive your everything? Are you giving it to Jesus? To the one who knows you better then you know yourself? Are you giving it to the one who will be able to use it to it’s fullest potential? God’s plan really is best, and it should be at the forefront of everything we do. It may mean doing something “foolish” like using the degree you just got to go live in a slum in Kenya teaching African children. It may mean going to remote villages in Thailand helping farmers grow their businesses. It may mean getting a good job in the US and loving the people in your office, the person who God places right in front of you. It may be that you are exactly where God wants you, my question is have you asked Him?

For the class of 2014, this is your chance to begin something new, will you start by asking the Author of Life what He would have you do?

Sure, you can advance humanity, cure cancer, stop the spread of aids in Africa, but when you stand before God at the end of the age, I think He will be far more concerned with whether you obeyed His voice. With whether you went left when he told you left, whether you listened for His voice. He will be far more concerned with whether you fully gave your life to Him.

Will You?

I come from a family of heroes…

I’ll be honest, I come from a family of heroes.

   Now before you get images of the incredibles running through your mind I should probably mention that unless you know them personally you have probably never heard of them. None of us have super powers or are famous. But, when I think about the impact that my parents and sisters have on the world around them I am truly inspired.

    My mom and dad are pastors of a small church in PA. They work harder than almost anyone I know. I’m amazed at the love that they carry for our congregation. They started off their lives together as poor YWAM missionaries in Spain. They didn’t have money and their stories of trusting in God and living on the edge always inspire me when I think about doing missions work. For most of their 20s and 30s they were living in a foreign country with almost nothing, simply trusting God to supply and sustain them. I love the fact that this is part of my lineage and they I come from such heroic and radical parents!

    My oldest sister is a now a pastors wife. She is one of the most dedicated people I know. Spending three years doing Bible training in Malaysia, Jenn is such a servant hearted woman. She is dedicated to seeing people changed by the word of God. In a lot of ways Jenn helped to pave the way for Marisa and I to live and work overseas. As the older sister she took the first plunge of living in another country. While I wish I was had the opportunity to get to know her more in high school, I’m so proud of the work she has done. After working with YWAM in Malaysia, Jenn worked for over five years to help support herself and Chris (her husband) while Chris finished seminary, she put off having a family until just this past November, when She and Chris had their first son, Ian. She’s so committed to family and following after God’s calling.

    Marisa moved to South Africa right after graduating college to help empower SA entrepreneurs and inspire hope in a country where poverty and hopelessness are rampant. I’m always so inspired when I think about the sacrifices she has made, and the impact she is having on that nation. Like the rest of my family, she is an incredibly hard working. Her compassion mixed with a strong desire for justice has made her one of the most driven and inspiring people I know. When Marisa commits to something she sticks with it, and I’m blown away by the impact she has had by simply being obedient to God’s calling.

    So why am I bragging on my family? Because I’ve noticed something in their lives that I hope to imitate. My family is focused on eternity. Now don’t get me wrong, they aren’t those people who ignore the present because they are so caught up in the future. Instead, they are the people who realize that these short years they have on earth are a privileged gift to serve God. They have sacrificed much, and yet are some of the most thankful people I know. It is their intimacy with God and their commitment to seeing people transformed by the gospel that inspires me to pursue God even more. We all need heroes in our lives, and God blessed me with a family full of them.

One of the most challenging things I’ve faced this year is my job as an admissions counselor on campus. I talk to a lot of people about the future. Honestly, sometimes it is the most depressing part of my job. Why, you ask? Because I am constantly talking to people who are so focused on this present life that they seemingly don’t care about eternity. When someone starts to tell me that the reason they can’t be a missionary is because of needing a better “job” or wanting to go to a larger university, or even not wanting to leave home, my heart aches

Are we missing the greatest opportunity of our lives because we are so focused on us?

We have been given an incredible gift. A few short years to serve God out of choice while a godless world screams at us to abandon Him. Will we seize the opportunity to sacrifice everything and to reach the world around us?

Will we stop focusing on our stories and embrace the greater story of God redeeming humanity?

   My challenge for you, the reader, is one that I am currently posing to myself. What are my motives for what I am doing? I recently heard it takes asking why five times to truly discover the motive of why you are doing something. It’s painful and scary to ask this question.

But the simple fact is that until we are doing what we do, for the glory of God, it is not worth doing.

So ask the question, pursue the calling, and let Jesus get the glory.

The danger of the short term investment, why I chose college over YWAM

Burning passion. It is something my generation definitely has. We are passionate about justice, freedom, and living life to the fullest. I thinks it's amazing and I love to see passionate young people pursuing their dreams. However, I have seen a disturbing trend began to take place, and I've seen it happening in my own heart.

Passion without investment. 

Perhaps it is a trend that every generation of young people face, being passionate about something but not willing to spend years investing your life into it. Often, the case is that we simply do not want to commit to something we will not be interested in in five years. (Or for Christians something that "God has not called us to") So we invest ourselves for six months, maybe even three or four years, and then we move onto the next thing.

    In many ways this trend is nothing more then humanism. We want to be satisfied in our callings and purposes (because it's all about our personal satisfaction). In my own life, I know that I want fulfillment out of whatever God calls me to. This has created a mindset for me that if I do not feel fulfilled in what I am currently doing that it must not be God's will. This is such a dangerous and harmful mindset.

Our purpose in life is not to feel fulfilled or complete, our purpose in life is simple obedience and radical love and passion for Jesus.

 If this means that we are doing something boring or not fulfilling then so be it. Sometimes I think God calls us to seasons that are boring or unfulfilling to see if we will be faithful in them.

Before I came to BCOM (Bethany College of Missions) God challenged me with two options.

Option 1: I could go back into YWAM and do missions right away, have great community, and feel the immediate satisfaction of pursuing God and making a difference in the world.

Option 2: I could invest the next four years in college, get an education, and then go onto the mission field.

Obviously I chose the second option. Don't get me wrong, I love YWAM. I have an enormous respect for my friends that have chosen that path in life. It is certainly not an easy life and they are some of the most radical Jesus lovers I have ever met. For many, I think this is exactly what God has called them to in this season of their lives. I hope to someday work with YWAM again.

However, I think there is a huge danger in pursuing the short calling instead of the long term investment. Often times we as Christians get the calling to go into missions but we do not take the time to invest in that calling. We think that this calling means jumping on a plane and traveling to another country. We do DTS (Discipleship Training School) type schools and then think that obviously missions work means staying on the field. Instead, God may be calling people to invest their entire lives, future and all, into missions. This means taking time to pursue education and training that is more extensive. One of my professors challenged me this week when He said that we should always pray that God doesn't send us into the field until He thinks we are ready. For this professor it meant waiting until he was thirty, he then spent 18 years in Brazil, and he said he was willing to die there.

That is commitment and true passion. 

How many young people are willing to invest so much into their calling that, if God calls them to one nation, they will be willing to go and spend the rest of their lives investing into that country. A calling like that takes time to invest in. It takes time to nurture and cultivate that kind of real passion that will stay with you when you hit the rocky road overseas. This world needs more then just passionate people, it needs investors. People who have the kind of passion that doesn't just seek to go but seeks to go in the best possible way. For many, that means getting an education that will enable them to work in countries that are closed to the gospel. What would happen if a generation of well educated, passionate, Jesus loving young people began to go overseas. If they were able to influence all spheres of society because they were able to work in all spheres of society.

It's time we invest in our callings. To take the time to seek after the hard things in life so that we can have the greatest impact for the Kingdom. 

Learning from South Africa

I watch as the dark city of Johannesburg passes by. It's five in the morning, so traffic is light and the city has the eery quietness of early morning. The last two days had passed like a dream. From stepping on the plane on Wednesday I hadn't stopped moving. I'm tired, but also strangely at peace. Being in South Africa was like coming up for a breath of air after being stuck under water. The rush and relief of the adventure reminding me that life isn't as dull as it sometimes seems. But it also reminded me of the urgency of my calling. That I cannot simply sit back and watch life go by. That there are people in the world who are in extreme need of help, now.

Since I haven't blogged in awhile I guess I should give some background on life. After getting back from DTS a few months ago things seem to fade back to how they had been before I left. On a spiritual level I was at a much better place but in the natural sense life almost seemed to pick up right where I left it. I went back to two of the jobs I had had before I left and hung out with pretty much the same group of friends. I think as humans we naturally gravitate towards what we know and thats what happened. It wasn't necessarily what I wanted, to be living the same life I had been, but it was the most convenient. The danger is that when the physical goes back to how it was it is often hard to keep the spiritual from drifting pack in that same direction. As the months went by I began to lose a lot of my passion and fire for God. I simply wanted to live a comfortable life and get through this season as quickly as possible.

I believed the lie that I could be a Christian and comfortable at the same time. The truth is the moment we make our chief desire in life comfort, we reject the life that Jesus calls us to. A life of total surrender. A life that will call us to go to the uncomfortable places. That will call us to say the uncomfortable things, and to do the uncomfortable works. A life that is spent in complete reliance and faith in Him. The irony is that this kind of life is the only hope we have of finding true comfort.

When I went to South Africa I was forced to look at a world that made me a bit uncomfortable. Because it forced me to see a world of poverty and pain. A world where people live with the constant threat of hunger, violence, and homelessness. A world where comfort would seem to be unattainable. And yet I saw people who were comforted by the Creator of the universe, and that was more than enough. Even though their stomachs were not always full, a roof was not always over their heads and they did not live in safety, they spoke with joy about the love of God. About His faithfulness and provision. I was given a small taste of physical poverty. But saw the abundance of spiritual wealth.

The truth is that Christianity is not about being comfortable, its about being radical. Radical in love, hope, joy, and faith. It means waking up every day and saying "Your will be done today Father." That is not a very comfortable way to live. Because it takes all the control that we seek in our lives and throws it into the hands of God. Yet I think it is in a lifestyle lived like this that we find joy and peace. Peace in knowing that we can rely on Jesus for everything we need and that though we may be hungry, homeless, abused, and poor, He will always walk right beside us. Comforting us in the moments of pain and bringing joy that is unimaginable even in the face of extreme need.

Back to being a YWAMer...for a week

For the second time in 6 months my packed bags lay next to the door ready for another adventure. Such a similar scenario.  The flight, the bags by the door, the early morning drive to the airport. It's eerily familiar. But its a very different person who will boarding that plane tomorrow for one final flight to Hawaii. When I left PA on that early April morning I was so excited and joyful that I could barely contain myself. Tomorrow there will be joy but also a sort of grief at realizing that I will be seeing this airport again in a week and that my DTS will be officially over than. Grief at the missed experiences that I am sure to hear and the awesome people who I will only be able to spend a brief time with.

Life has a way of throwing the unexpected things at you. When I left PA in April I was expecting the "classic" DTS experience, amazing lecture phase, awesome outreach phase, and a fantastic time of debrief swapping stories with all the amazing friends I will have made. In many ways that is exactly what I got. An amazing lecture phase, an outreach phase, that while probably the toughest time in my life, I can honestly say that the results of it will be awesome (I may have to wait awhile until I view them that way but I have faith that someday thats exactly what I will think), and I'm expecting a fantastic time of sharing with friends from DTS.

But there is a key difference. I'm not coming off the emotional and spiritual "high" I expected I would be at the end of DTS. In fact in many ways I feel like a beat up, emotionally drained, weary man who has engaged in a battle that put everything he learned on the breaking point. A time of testing that left me exhausted and realizing that I had nothing I can give except the daily bread that God continues to pour out. Sometimes the daily bread seems so small but its always enough.

So Hawaii I look forward to seeing you,  Although with the bittersweet reality of life. The reality that I will soon be leaving your sunny shores and back to the battle that God has called me to fight. The battle of normal life where the real tests and struggles come, but the sweet victories and hope are always within reach. By God's grace I will return to PA a little refreshed and more settled about DTS. Right now I feel as though I'm in some short of limbo, living the normal life after DTS deal but soon to be thrust back into the end of DTS. It could be a weird week going back. But I'm ready to finish this adventure so I can jump right into the next adventure that God calls me to! Hawaii here I come!

A battle against normal

My hand grabs another can as I listen to the all to familiar beep of the scanner. "I'm back", the thought seems to never leave my mind. I give the customer the best smile I can muster and quickly try to change the trail of thoughts running through my head. I try... and fail. My mind continues to wonder what my team is doing, I find myself checking the clock and quickly making the time difference. It's Tuesday, so probably the orphanage. I wonder how Ethan's doing with soccer, and if Paul's having any luck teaching any of the guys photography. I struggle to pull my mind back to the present. "Come on David, you gotta focus on where you are." I send up a quick prayer for my team and finally am able to return my mind to the task at hand. Scanning groceries at the grocery store I was hoping I wouldn't be seeing for another month.

I'm back. The concept has finally sunk in in a most unpleasant way. I've gone through the small moments of joy of enjoying the things I missed on DTS and now am faced with the reality of normal life. Of waking up in the morning, going to work, meeting with friends, going to church, the system is scarily familiar. Scary because I see the person and the life I used to live becoming increasingly close to becoming a reality. Scary because I remember the desperation I felt before leaving, the gnawing to experience God and become who I was created to be, I now feel the warning signs that that person must be fought for.

Every day I must choose to be the person God created me to be. The person that He meant for me to be. On DTS I saw a little bit more of who that person is. I saw a little bit more of the passions God has placed in me. Of the hunger that is so deeply engraved in my soul, a hunger that is only met by His presence. I saw that theres is courage in me, a warriors heart, it merely needs the opportunity to be shown.

So as I came home I was greatly excited to see how God would use these knew things that I had discovered while I was away. I jumped at the opportunity to see Him move. What I found was the greatest of opportunities and the toughest of struggles. I watched as the man I had become became tested at every point. As the wounds that I had hoped were healed become ripped open again. The fears that I had so proudly thought I had conquered became the nightmare of my faith.

It was the battle.

The battle that I have to  fight, and the one that I must win. The one that says you haven't changed, you haven't become the man you thought you were. That it was all just a sham, you are now back to your true self. It's the lies that tell me that God couldn't really change someone like me. So I now am forced back to the battle I thought I had beaten. The one of complacent Christianity, of being apathetic and only pursuing God when I feel like it. The one of falling back into the old comforts and lies of this world, believing the horrible lie that they will satisfy the hunger in my heart.

The reality is simple.

This is the true battle, the battles of my journey these past few months have merely been the training for this. The battle of actually living a life of radical faith in Jesus. Of being willing to fight in every moment of every day for the truth of who God created me to be and not who I think I am. I was created to know and love God. I was created not for myself but to bring glory to the Creator of the universe. The sooner I wrap my mind around that the sooner I learn to live out the life I was called to. A life of radical obedience and devotion to God. period.

Simple, well sorta.

The answer is simple: Dedication because of love.

The action is tough.

This week I've come face to face with my imperfection as a human.

It sucked.

Period.

It sucked to watch a dream be laid down, to watch my “perfect” little plan of how life should go come to a quick death. To realize the ending of a journey that my heart longed to continue.

This week I was faced with my failure to be dedicated. I watched as all my fancy words were defeated by cowardice acts of self pity.

I watched as my standards were washed away by waves of “logical” thinking motivated by pure laziness.

What was I left with? The reality that I'm human. That I need God in every moment and that the battle I've entered is so much harder than any I have ever faced.

I've come to realize that it is often in the times of “normal” life that we face the toughest and most fierce of battles. It's in the moment when we could easily accept the ordinary that the battle to choose the extraordinary becomes so difficult.

When we start to believe the lie that we can't be as close to God unless we are serving Him in what we see as “active” ministry. That we can't have hunger and passion for God unless we are surrounded by people that are full of passion and hunger.

It's into this horrible trap that I tumbled this week. Thankfully God hasn't given up on me and loves to draw me back when I go after my own desires. Today God did that. Today, I was reminded of the story of Daniel.

If anyone had an excuse to not be passionate and full of fire for God Daniel would be it. Taken from his home as a captive while he was still a teenager, Daniel lived in a land full of evil men that knew nothing of God's way. The Bible mentions only three other Godly men besides Daniel when he enters captivity.

What does Daniel do?

Does He cry out at the injustice of it all and decide to follow his own desires? Nope, he sets himself apart and follows after God throughout his life of captivity. From the beginning when he asks to be fed only vegetables and water so as to not defile himself with unclean food, to when he prays and fasts for 21 days before getting a response, Daniel stays dedicated to God.

What if I could live like that? A life so dedicated that even in a land full of ungodly men (of which Lancaster County PA is certainly not!) I would continue to have passion and dedication to God. It challenged me to look past this momentary time.

To be honest I don't like the phase of life I am in.

It's tough.

It's dry.

And it's horribly familiar to how I felt before I left for DTS.

But the question is not what I will do to make myself feel the way I did a couple weeks ago, the question is how I will use this new phase of life to bring God glory, grow in my relationship with Him, and love the people around me with the love God has so lavishly given to me.

The question is what is God doing

Right here.

Right now.

And how can I be apart of it.

It's time to make the main thing the main thing again, and embrace the new that God is doing in my life with the knowledge that He is working it all out for good. All I have to do is obey.

Simple.

And not so simple.